Many people don’t even realise that they are confusing these two concepts. But by clarifying the difference between confidence and self-esteem many people have been able to transform their lives.
Let’s start with Self-Esteem: Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Why? What have you done that is so special?
Here is the deal, you like or don’t like someone’s behaviour including your own. You like or don’t like what people do. But here is the great news - you don’t have to do anything to be loved.
You can often hear about a parent’s unconditional love for their child. Well true self- esteem is taking that a stage further. It is the unconditional love of everyone. Not because they or you did anything special but just because they and you
are human. It requires the separation of actions and behaviour from the person. That means loving yourself regardless of your job, body shape or achievement. You can still like or dislike all those things but don’t attach your self-esteem to them. You are worthy of love. Including your love.
Confidence however is nothing to do with love. It is all to do with awareness of your ability. Perhaps one of the best ways of understanding this is if we look at overconfidence and under confidence.
Overconfidence is when you thought you could do something but you couldn’t and under confident is the reverse. Confidence is when you get it right. The only way of finding out of course is by having a go.
When people mix up confidence and self-esteem they can also mix up overconfidence with arrogance. Arrogance is the misguided belief the you are superior to someone and is a form of attached self-esteem.
So: Self-esteem = do I love myself without condition? / Confidence = Can I do this?
If you allow yourself true self-esteem you will be more willing to give it a try.
Self-esteem is the foundation to confidence. Love yourself unconditionally and you will be able to walk with your head high and forgive your mistakes.
Paul Oginksy, PDP Founder and CEO, Vibe